Month: December 2017

Podcast – Ep. 56 – Why Anxiety Keeps You Stuck, and How to Overcome It

How many times have you said something like this to yourself, or heard someone else say: “I’m just an anxious person by nature, it’s all I know”, “I’ve always been anxious about everything in life, I can’t ever just relax”, or “I was born this way and that’s all there is to it”.

Anxiety can take over your life, and can define how you see yourself if you let it. That’s the key right there my friend, “if you let it”. Anxiety only has the power that you allow it to have. The sooner we realize and embrace that, the sooner we start to see anxiety for what it is…a liar!

My guest on this episode of the Beyond Your Past Podcast is someone who’s dedicated their life to helping everyone see anxiety for what it truly is, and overcome it. To empower them with the knowledge that not only is anxiety a liar, but also to equip them with skills to take their life back and live free from the grip of overwhelming anxiety.

In her work as a Psychotherapist, Jodi Aman has helped people in the areas of: Anxiety, depression, divorce, chronic pain, illness, eating disorders, abuse trauma, gender identity, relationship issues, as well as military/war trauma. She’s also an author of, “You 1 Anxiety 0, Win Your Life Back From Fear and Panic”. This incredible resource has helped countless people all over the world realize that there is hope in the fight against anxiety.

The main topic of our chat centers around the question of, “is anxiety curable?”…and the short answer is a resounding, YES!

I pose that exact question to Jodi and we discuss the 3 reasons why anxiety is indeed curable, and why so many feel that it isn’t. We discuss why anxiety keeps us stuck and how we can overcome it. By the way, that’s precisely what it wants you to believe, that there is no cure for anxiety and that it’s a life sentence of misery, isolation, depression, and living in fear. 

So why exactly do so many think that there is no cure? Well, one reason is because someone told you that it wasn’t, so therefore you believe it. There are some mental health professionals and coaches that believe there is no cure; that you can only work to manage it, but not completely overcome it. If that’s your mindset then it becomes exponentially more difficult to try to make any type of positive change. If you feel like there’s no hope, no end goal of healing and feeling better, it’s very easy to not work as hard or just give up completely. You eventually begin to define yourself in every negative way possible, so therefore trying to embrace any hope of healing is darn near impossible. Then you emotionally beat yourself up because your stuck, miserable, broken and alone. It’s a vicious cycle to say the least.

Another reason is that it’s just so easy to stay still and not even try. We stay isolated and alone at home, seemingly safe from the outside world. We don’t go out with friends, we don’t embrace and enjoy what life has to offer. We have such a negative view of our ability to cope, that we figure we’re better off alone so we don’t set ourselves up for more failure.

The third reason is that you’ve tried everything to cure your anxiety and you still don’t like yourself. You still don’t feel like you’ve made any progress, like this whole idea of beating anxiety is a pipe dream and you simply aren’t capable enough to pull it off. The key here friends is…

We cover these 3 reasons more in-depth on the podcast, so you’ll definitely want to give it a listen! Plus, we discuss some strategies that you can put in place to help embrace a positive mindset of completely healing from anxiety. 

Fore more info on this topic and to see the full post, head over to BeyondYourPast.com

-Matt Pappas, CLC
Certified Life Coach, Specializing in Overcoming Anxiety and
Working with Trauma Survivors.

Twitter: @BeyondYourPast
Instagram: @BeyondYourPast
Facebook: BeyondYourPastLifeCoaching

Podcast – Ep. 55 – Understanding the long term affects of bullying, with Alan Eisenberg CLC

When we think about bullying, the immediate effects include, but are not limited to, low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, isolation, depression, loss of trust; but it’s important to also realize that the effect that bullying has on our brain and our body, goes far beyond the short-term.

I can remember back when I was in late elementary school, and all the way through the end of middle school, I suffered from all of those things in my life, and a few others. Not only was my self-esteem shot and the very thought of going to school each day caused my anxiety to sky-rocket, but I think one of the worst things that I experienced was a feeling of complete loneliness. I felt like there was something wrong with me since I seemed to exist only to be an outlet for others aggression.  That kind of intense pressure on a child or young adult causes serious emotional developmental problems, and likely was one of the reasons that I spent a good deal of time in a learning disability center in school. Looking back, I am grateful to those teachers who helped me, but at the time it also served as yet another target on my back.

Even now as an adult and able to take care of myself, I’m not immune to the pangs of childhood trauma memories that surface when I read about a child who’s been beaten up at school, or suffers from bullying at the hands of a sibling.

This topic has become main stream in the last 10 years or so, with advocacy sites and anti-bullying programs readily available to most anyone who has an internet connection, yet even with all of this access and awareness, this problem still exists. Let’s not forget, that with the onset of social media, cyber bullying has taken this problem to an entirely new level. In the US alone, 28% of U.S. students in grades 6–12 experienced bullying, and in a single large study, about 49% of children in grades 4–12 reported being bullied by other students at school at least once during the past month, whereas 30.8% reported bullying others during that time.*

Unfortunately, victims of bullying are 7 to 9 percent more likely to consider suicide, according to a study at Yale University**. In addition, children as young as 6-8 years old have taken their own lives as a result.*** 

Those statistics are staggering, which why it’s so important for us understand the long-term effects of bullying and how we can not only help ourselves, but also help others who have experienced this type of trauma. Make no mistake, being bullied is a form of trauma.  

To help understand how these effects can last well into adulthood, and how to cope and recover, I wanted to talk to an expert and share not only his experiences of being bullied but also his amazing journey of recovery and the work that he’s doing now to help educate youth and their families on this important problem. My good friend and fellow life coach, Alan Eisenberg, recently sat down with me for a chat on this topic, and that is the focus of this episode of the Beyond Your Past Podcast.

Alan is the founder of BullyingRecovery.org, and organization who’s dedicated to helping those who suffer from the long-term effects of bullying (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or C-PTSD) to find the help they so desperately need by providing media, materials and support for their recovery.

Be sure and check out the rest of the blog post over on BeyondYourPast.com.

If you’d like more information on working with a certified life coach, or if you have questions about how working with a life coach might be right for you… go for it and schedule your free intro session! Always remember, You Are Worth It, and there is hope for moving forward from what holds you back.

Podcast – Ep. 54 – You Keep Talking for Us – With Survivor and Advocate – Brian Cardoza

The “man card”, the thing that supposedly defines what a man is, or should be in the eyes of his peers. It’s been used in relation to everything from sports, to politics, to who’s makes the best burgers. It’s something that’s been joked about since the beginning of time I suppose.

“Dude, you just lost your man card”….”So when did your wife take your man card again?” I’m sure you’ve heard these and countless others before, and they can definitely be in good fun among friends. To that, did you know that there is actual an official (so to speak) definition of a man card?

A Man Card is required proof of manhood in order to become a respected member of the male community. It can and will be temporarily revoked if privileges as a Man are abused.*

So what does all this “card talk” have to do with Beyond Your Past? To that point, if you’re a woman and you’re wondering “what could this have to do with me?” Well, I’m glad you asked…

I recently had the honor of talking with friend, fellow survivor, advocate, artist, and author, Brian Cardoza, and we decided to record a podcast together. I’m stoked to share this with you, because this show was something that inspired me and also validated me as a survivor, in some incredible ways. Since we’re being real here, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been at your healing journey from trauma, more validation is always a good thing.

In case you aren’t familiar with Brian, he’s the author of , “The Unexpected Victim”, his story of recovery from repeated childhood sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. You can find his book on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Brian’s message is one of responsibility and hope. As a survivor, he works diligently raising awareness and money to fight against sexual assault and physical abuse. He believes in the potential to change your circumstances by changing your thinking. His motto of, “Don’t let this moment dictate the next moment” is shared by the many that he inspires, and I’m definitely included in that group.

We covered so much during our time together, but I wanted to highlight a few key topics to get you ready for our conversation…

One of which was that “man card”, because when I mentioned it during our chat, he brought up such an insightful way to look it and how we need to redefine it’s meaning. You’ll notice I keep putting it in quotes, because I never put much stock in that man card stuff in the first place”. 

Anyway…so what would it look like we could give a card to everyone who’s a survivor of abuse? To any man who steps up and shares his story, and refuses to be ashamed? To a guy who saves someone from being abused, or offers refuge to a victim when they have nothing left or nowhere to go? To a boy who speaks up and tells someone what’s going on in his home because he isn’t safe, or tells someone because his friend is living in an abusive home?

Now that my friends, is a real Man Card right there!  As Brian also mentions, “I can still be a man and not have machismo, I can still be a man and be sympathetic. ” We get into that topic more in depth, so you’ll want to check out the podcast for sure!

Check out the rest of the post on BeyondYourPast.com

Also Be sure and check out BrianCardoza.com for all the information on his story, the book, his art, and more!

-Matt Pappas, CLC

If you’d like more information on working with a certified life coach, or if you have questions about how working with a life coach might be right for you… go for it and schedule your free intro session!   Always remember, You Are Worth It, and there is hope for moving forward from what holds you back.

*Source: OfficialManCard.com