Comparing yourself to another person is debilitating, exhausting, and quite honestly one of the most detrimental things you can do to yourself, physically and emotionally. Trying to “keep up with the Jones” and do what they do is no way to live, yet so often many of us find ourselves going down this road. Not only do we try and keep up with them, but we try and do things like them because they seem like they have it all together, and have it all figured out.
Their kids look happy and well behaved, their relationship looks like it’s perfect, and we figure if we do what they do, maybe some of that will rub off on us and we can fix what’s wrong with ourselves and our family. Or at the very least, we can be “doing it better” because there is always room for improvement, right?
I’m not here to say that we shouldn’t strive to better ourselves or try an improve certain aspects of our lives and relationships, but there is something to be said for just being you. Being ok with who you are, where you are, the way you parent your children and the relationship you have with your spouse. The very idea of being content in your life, particularly in the area of parenting, is the subject of this episode of the podcast, with Dr. Raquel Muller.
Licensed Psychologist turned Coach and Speaker helping moms bust the “supermom” myth and become more calm, effective, confident, and joyfully imperfect moms. Dr. Muller is not only a moms’ coach, but she also a mother.
As a wife, mother of two, and professional therapist for 17 years I have also struggled with the conflicting and multiple demands of raising a family and being a loving and attentive partner, while also pursuing personal fulfillment through my career. In my work I use my professional skills and personal experiences to teach moms–whether they work outside of the home or dedicate themselves exclusively to their families– strategies to help them bust the “supermom” myth so they can reduce stress and be more calm, confident, happy and effective mothers.
During our, Dr. Muller and I discuss:
- How she began working with women, and moms in particular, and how her own experiences in life lead her to the decision of helping moms and trauma survivors.
- Dr. Muller shares her combined approach of trauma work, using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and the TEAM approach, which teaches that the agenda of therapy is not dictated by a therapist, or a diagnosis, but rather by what the client wants to work on.
- We also discuss exactly what CBT is, because let’s be real, the mental health world is full of acronyms and we always want to make sure everyone is informed.
- What exactly is a “supermom”, the pressures of trying to be perfect, and live up to the unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves because of what we see others doing?
- Key elements that are important in helping to heal from trauma. While Dr. Muller specializes in working with women, these principals are universal for all survivors.
- Work on your mindset
- Operate from Overflow
- Master Self-Acceptance
- Activate Self-Compassion
- Nurture Your Relationships
- We talk more about the self-acceptance and self-compassion aspects, and how difficult that is especially for trauma survivors.
- The most important thing to remember when beginning to work on your trauma and change the supermom or super parent mentality.
All this and more during my chat with Dr. Raquel Muller on being a survivor, a mother, and learning to be okay with who you are, and just as you are, and know that you are good enough.
To learn more about Dr. Muller, including her work as a therapist, her videos, and more about busting the supermom myth, head over to https://www.joyfulimperfectioncounseling.com/ You can also follow her on Instagram and Facebook by searching for “JoyfulImperfectionCounseling”.
Be sure and subscribe to Beyond Your Past on your favorite podcasting app and consider sharing this episode with someone who might benefit from it.
Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP
All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.