Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor

A Diagnosis She Would Not Accept, and a Holistic Approach to Healing that Changed Her Life.

When you get a diagnosis that you cannot accept, especially one that is life-altering at a very young age, you have two choices: accept it or get a second opinion. Or third, or fourth, or fifth. Essentially you have to decide if you’re going to fight or go quietly into the night…so to speak.

kimberle taitano - podcast - beyond your past radioOur guest on this episode of the podcast, Kimberle Taitano, has seen her share of challenges in life, physically, mentally, and emotionally. She joins us to talk about her experiences and how all of the challenges she’s faced, brought her to a place of being able to work with others to help them heal and keep fighting for themselves…to never give up, regardless of a diagnosis or a traumatic past.

Kimberle is an Integrative Wellness and Life Coach, Survivor, and Speaker: As survivors of sexual abuse trauma, we seek a way to find and achieve healing from the past. Here at Surrender 2 Wellness our unique perspective and life experience with the impact sexual abuse leaves in a survivor’s life is key to our coaching approach. Low self-esteem, self-worth, and lack of a positive self-image and self-love affect every area of your life.

After an eight-year journey to find alternative healing modalities, Kimberle a sexual abuse survivor discovered new Fields of study. Studying with Deepak Chopra; David Simon; and Davidji learning the principle steps needed to obtain overall healing and closure. Kimberle has integrated these teachings and personal experiences with other holistic healing modalities. Resulting in a unique trauma recovery-focused process.

During our chat with Kimberle, we talk about the diagnosis that brought her to a crossroads in her life, and already being a place of dealing with a traumatic past.

  • She shares how the abuse began at 4 years old when she was sexually abused by her father, and experienced bullying and physical abuse at the hands of her stepfather. In addition, she also endured being molested by her stepsister.
  •  She talks about her attempts to take her own life, which started at age 8, and her last attempt at age 38. In addition, we discuss the reasons why she tried so often to take her life; and it wasn’t because she wanted to die…she just wanted the pain to stop.
  • You’ll learn of the events that lead her to return to California after spending time in New York working on her acting career, and the diagnosis of MS that brought her to a crossroads, and a decision of either accepting that diagnosis or fighting for herself and finding alternative methods of healing.
  • We talk about the holistic approach to healing that changed her life, which includes reiki, meditation, massage, yoga, supplements, acupuncture, nutrition, and more. You’ll hear of the incredible healing that happened as a result of working with holistic doctors, using alternative medicine, that had her back on feet in a matter of months, and how she uses that same approach with her clients today.
  • We talk about her research with ACES (Adverse Childhood Experiences), and the connection of childhood trauma to chronic illness and disease.

If you’d like to learn more about Kimberle’s story, or if you’re interested in potentially working with her as your coach, head over to Surrender2Wellness.com, and check out her coaching practice and more of her survivor story. Be sure and also follow her on social media:

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

  1. Share it with one person who might find it helpful.
  2. Leave a review on your favorite podcasting app.
  3. Follow the podcast on that same app, so you never miss an episode.

That’s it…Super Easy and it would mean the world to us.

If you want to go a step further, we have a special Thank You just for You!

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the podcast and BeyondYourPastRadio.com are intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on the podcast or posted on the above-mentioned website are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

“Feel to Heal”, Finding Balance in Healing and Life through Integrative Wellness, with Delisa Richardson

‘Life is all about balance”, something most of us have probably heard many times growing up and even more so today. Trying to balance all of the responsibilities that daily life throws at us, professionally, personally, relationally, spiritually, is tough, to say the least. For those that do that have kind of balance now, you have my utmost respect, and hopefully, you’re going to write a book one day about how you do it.

For the rest of us, that balance can be elusive, something that we strive for and sometimes feel like we have a grasp of, while the rest of the time it’s all we can do to figure out 1 or 2 at time, let alone trying to put all 4 together in some type of cohesive union of peace.

Our guest today on the podcast, Delisa Richardson, has dedicated her life to finding the balance of living with chronic illness, recovery from being a survivor, being a mom and wife, and working with clients in her coaching business. As she outlines in her bio:

Delisa Richardson Wellness focuses on empowering women to break the chains of trauma and abuse. I work with you to develop Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual balance & wholeness. This will enable you to thrive and live your BEST life! My goal as a certified Integrative Wellness & Life Coach, NLP, EFT practitioner, and Hypnotherapist, is to help break the chains of trauma, end destructive relationships, help you to learn to love yourself not only survive but THRIVE! You will learn how to fully and confidently step into your life purpose.

Delisa is also a fitness profession of 21 years, and living with chronic illness (inflammatory bowel disease), she specializes in helping those with chronic pain and diseases develop a plan of movement and exercise that works for them. 

During our chat, Delisa and I talk about some of her survivor story, which started around the 9 and lasted until she was 13. She shares how and why she kept her abuse a secret and how it affected her all throughout her teenage years and into early adulthood, especially in the area of relationships.

  • You’ll learn the circumstances that transpired which lead her to seek the help of a therapist, what it was like to verbalize for the first time, out loud, that she was a survivor of abuse.
  • Delisa talks about the struggles of being in abusive relationships, both physically and verbally, as a result of childhood trauma, and how the events of her past affected her ability to seek out healthy relationships and enforce boundaries.
  • We discuss the importance of releasing the shame and guilt that comes with being a survivor of childhood trauma, and how recording her own voice, by listening to how she talked to herself; internalizing all of the shame and blame, helped her move forward and break that cycle.
  • Her life with inflammatory bowel disease, and how living with chronic pain and illness can be traced back to the childhood trauma she experienced.
  • We discuss how healing from trauma is a life long battle and the hope that comes from putting in the hard work of healing so you can live the life you want and be the person you want to be.
  • Releasing yourself from the need to try and control the people around you or the events in your life, and how the process of healing helps you release that need and realize that you actually have very little control over most of your life.

You can find Delisa on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter just search for “Delisa Richardson Wellness”

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

  1. Share it with one person who might find it helpful.
  2. Leave a review on your favorite podcasting app.
  3. Follow the podcast on that same app, so you never miss an episode.

That’s it…Super Easy and it would mean the world to us.

If you want to go a step further, we have a special Thank You just for You!

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on Beyond Your Past Radio and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on the podcast or posted on the above-mentioned website are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

Learning How to Tell Your Survivor Story, with Rachel Grant

Your survivor story, the way you live it every day, and the way you tell it to others, evolves throughout the various stages of healing. Each version is your truth, as you experienced it in the past and how you live in the present. Each stage of healing represents how you’ve grown and how much you learn about yourself; and so naturally the details, the way you live each day, and the way you tell it, changes and evolves with you.

Does this mean that we are lying, or that previous versions of our story are no longer valid? Of course not. Your story is always valid because it’s your story, as you lived it, and nobody has the right to second guess your experiences.  The way you tell your story depends greatly on where you are in life.

If you’re in the stage of denial, trying to just put it behind you and move on without dealing with it, that version will be very different than when you’re in deep healing work with a therapist, uncovering the memories and learning how they’ve affected you for so long. Conversely, that version of the story is different from when you’ve exited therapy, and are now moving forward with knowledge of what happened, new awareness and a new set of skills and tools at the ready whenever you need them.

How much you share, when you share, and to whom you share it with is always up to you. I can remember years ago working with a therapist, going twice a week for sessions, I was living, eating, and breathing being a survivor. I was reading book after book, watching videos, reading blog posts, writing my experiences on the blog and in journals, attending support groups, I was all in. During that time my version was very deep, dark, scary, and filled with details as I was reliving them during therapy. I outlined my struggles, my fears, my worries for the future as well as my anger for what was stolen from me.

Now, my version is much more succinct and to the point, because I’m not living in the same space I was during those deep healing times. I don’t need to share the details as much or have my story validated as much as I did before. It’s still my truth, yes, and will always be my truth, but it’s not my only truth now, and that’s the result of putting in the hard work of healing. My story has changed as I have changed.

On this episode of the podcast, we’re talking about this very thing; learning how to tell your survivor story, as well as forming relationships with others after your trauma. Rachel Grant, Sexual Abuse Survivor Coach, is a regular on Beyond Your Past Radio, and I’m honored to have her join me via a chat we had recently.

Rachel Grant is a Sexual Abuse Survivor Coach, with an M.A. in Counseling Psychology. Her website, RachelGrantCoaching.com features not only her individual and group work with survivors, but also her book “Beyond Surviving”, Facebook Group, Master Class, and free and low-cost Audible Downloads covering topics such as Shame, Boundaries, Abandonment, and much more.

It’s always a privilege to talk with Rachel on the show; her message of healing is always encouraging and filled with hope for how we can move forward from the trauma and abuse, and be more than a survivor. We can Thrive!

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

  1. Share it with one person who might find it helpful.
  2. Leave a review on your favorite podcasting app.
  3. Follow the podcast on that same app, so you never miss an episode.

That’s it…Super Easy and it would mean the world to us.

If you want to go a step further, we have a special Thank You just for You!

 

 

 

 

 

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

 

Self-Worth: Finding Strength Through Vulnerability, with Brian Cardoza

June is self-worth month here on the podcast. We started off talking with the UK’s leading confidence coach and transformational mentor, Amy Rushworth, as she shared some of her story and talked about how finding your voice is in direct relation to self-confidence and developing your self-worth. After that, we shared some thoughts on how you are the one that gets to define who you are, and what you’re about; your worth is not dependent on anyone or anything. So if you haven’t checked out those two episodes you’ll want to go back after this one and give em a listen.

Self-Worth - Finding Strength Through VulnerabilityContinuing on with the self-worth theme, we’re talking with returning guest and friend, Brian Cardoza. Brian is an author, artist, and national speaker, using his platform to help share the message of his survivor story and encourage both men and women to take that first step of seeking help to work through a traumatic past.

Brian’s message of hope, presented in such an authentic, genuine, and down-to-earth way, is inspiring because he’s able to relate to the unique struggles that survivors go through, including the silence and shame that keeps them stuck and feeling unable to reach out for help.

We talk with Brian about his survivor story and get into a deep discussion about the struggles of survivors who are trying to find their voice and reach out for help. Throughout our chat, with Brian, you’ll notice how we use some well-timed, and improvisational humor to help illustrate that while this work is deep, powerful, difficult, and necessary, there is hope in healing and all of that work hard pays off.

Plus, near the end of the podcast, in true Brian Cardoza form, he drops a nugget of wisdom that will result in a future episode on the topic of bringing awareness to “coercive rape” and the pressure that both men and women feel when it comes to intimacy. Believe me, friend, this one will definitely cause you to pause and ponder his take on this delicate subject. 

It’s always a wonderful time as we chat with our friend Brian Cardoza, and be sure to find him on Facebook and check him out when he hosts an event in your area. As Brian says, “just put my name in the google machine and you’ll find me”. Oh, and don’t forget to check out his book, “The Unexpected Victim” available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

  1. Share it with one person who might find it helpful.
  2. Leave a review on your favorite podcasting app.
  3. Follow the podcast on that same app, so you never miss an episode.

That’s it…Super Easy and it would mean the world to us.

If you want to go a step further, we have a special Thank You just for You!

 

 

 

 

 

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

From Victim to Survivor to Warrior, with Lisa Cybaniak – Ep. 136

Back when I first started on my own healing journey, I quickly became familiar with the term, “survivor”. Although I had never heard of it before (other than being a TV show), from the moment I heard what it was, it resonated with me big time. I felt like I had the biggest light bulb moment ever; I mean we’re talking like, the biggest light show ever suddenly coming to life in my head.

Everything made sense, I was a survivor. All of the struggles in school with learning disabilities, being bullied, problems with food, self-esteem, it all made sense. The more I learned, the more the puzzle pieces continued to find their way into this picture that was my life. Isn’t it interesting how, when you’re talking about being a survivor, you often reference puzzles and light bulbs?  Anyways…

Lisa Cybaniak Podcast - Beyond Your Past - From Victim to SurvivorOur guest on this episode of the podcast has dedicated her life to helping women in particular, and survivors as a whole, to find their voice. To begin to realize that they too have the ability to reach out for help, work through their past moving from victim to survivor, and ultimately from survivor to warrior.

Lisa Cybaniak is a Motivational Speaker, Success Coach, NLP Practitioner, and survivor of 10 years of child abuse. Over the last 3 years, her work has been featured on radio programs, podcasts, in magazines, and other media outlets. Her first book, Survivor to Warrior is due out in June of 2019.  She outlines on her website, I’ve developed three healing streams to empower you to build a life of purpose after abuse, wherever you may be on your path to recovery: Reaching Out, Victim to Survivor, and Survivor to Warrior.

If you’ve not had an abusive background, but still suffer from low self-esteem or confidence, impostor syndrome or a lack of fulfillment in your life, you will find many options here for you too. Remember, if you keep doing the same thing, you can expect the same result. If you’re ready for a different result, then you’re in the right place!

During our chat with Lisa, Joanne and I talk with her about her survivor journey and her work with clients:

  • Lisa shares about the multiple types of abuse she suffered at the hands of her stepfather, and how she found the courage to tell someone what was happening.
  • The incredible story of how her mother came to her rescue, validating everything Lisa said was happening and immediately made plans to get her away from the abuse.
  • The challenges of relationships and being able to tell her story to others; only a handful of people knew what happened during her teenage and young adult years.
  • We discuss the importance of not tying the validity of your abuse, and survivor story, to the outcome of a court case when filing charges against your abuser.
  • The struggles of using detachment as a coping skill, and how that lead to suicidal thoughts and closing off from nearly everyone in her life.
  • How she is using her life experiences now to work with clients, speak internationally, and continue her own ongoing journey of healing.

If you’d like to learn more about working with Lisa, her programs, upcoming new book, and her speaking engagements, just head over to LifeLikeYouMeanIt.com…and be sure and tell her, “Beyond Your Past, sent you”.  😉

You can follow her on Twitter: @LisaCybaniak , Facebook.com/lifelikeyoumeanit, and Instagram: @Life_Like_You_Mean_It

-Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP & Joanne Cipressi, CHt, CNLP

 

If you enjoy these podcasts would you consider doing 3 easy things for us?

  1. Share it with someone who might find it helpful.
  2. Leave a review on your favorite podcasting app.
  3. Subscribe so you never miss an episode.

That’s it…Super Easy and it would mean the world to us.

If you want to go a step further, we have a special Thank You just for You!

 

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

 

Releasing Shame and Recovering Repressed Memories through Writing, with Elisabeth Corey – Ep. 132

elisabeth corey - uncovering repressed memories through writing - podcast on beyond your pastOne of the most helpful strategies you can utilize in your healing journey is writing. Whether it’s journaling, keeping a diary, blogging, writing letters that you’ll never send, or other writing methods, the benefits can yield incredibly validating and groundbreaking results.

Writing is also one of the more difficult things to do for many survivors, for many reasons, not the least of which is that it forces you to go back and explore thoughts and memories that you’ve may have spent decades trying to forget or at the very list simply ignoring because they happened so long ago. For some it’s a struggle because writing just isn’t your thing, or you simply don’t enjoy it, you’re not a storyteller, or your perfectionism simply won’t allow you to write anything and deem it acceptable.

Elisabeth Corey, MSW, and founder of BeatingTrauma.com joins me on the podcast as a return guest to discuss this incredibly beneficial modality of healing. I first had the opportunity to chat with Elisabeth back in episode 38 as we discussed working with our inner parts to help heal trauma. Inner Parts work is a specialty of Elisabeth and continues to be a focus in her work with private clients and in her group sessions, webinars, and other resources created for survivors.

During my chat with Elisabeth Corey on this episode of the podcast, we’re diving more into recovering repressed memories through writing:

  • How writing from our inner parts can help us connect with what we don’t remember.
  • What exactly are repressed memories, why are they so crucial to healing, and what misconceptions are there surrounding these types of memories?
  • How the idea that writing doesn’t come naturally for so many but why it’s so important.
    • On that topic, the type of writing that Elisabeth teaches her clients and those in her programs is not supposed to come naturally because of you’re diving into areas of your life that you’ve spent years trying to forget. In addition, the coping skills that served us during traumatic events can be a cause of keeping certain memories repressed.
  • How naturally, or not, do our inner parts take to writing and being given a voice?
    • Which parts are more resistant vs which parts are more open to having a voice?
  • Connecting with your inner child and writing from a place of your inner child’s voice and perspective, as opposed to an adults version of their voice.
  • Flashbacks, and how they are not always the overwhelming memories that cause so much turmoil and turn our world upside down.
    • The importance of using these as a learning experience in writing to help uncover repressed memories.

This was such an incredible chat with Elisabeth and she dives more in depth to those topics and shares her vast knowledge in a way that is validating and inspiring. I hope you’ll consider checking out this episode and sharing it with someone who might find it helpful.

Be sure and follow Elisabeth Corey, MSW on Twitter @BeatingTrauma and her website, BeatingTrauma.com, where you can also learn about her programs, webinars, and workshops.

-Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

 

How Childhood Trauma Affects Your Relationships & Boundaries, with Vennie Kocsis – Ep. 130

I’m honored to welcome back returning guest, Vennie Kocsis, as we continue our conversation on how childhood trauma manifests itself in your life, both physically and emotionally. In particular, we’re discussing the effects on dating and romantic relationships.

In Part I, we discussed the Physiology of Childhood Trauma, and how it affects not only emotional healthVennie Kocsis - Guest Podcast - Beyond Your Past but physical health as well. Vennie shares from her personal experiences as a survivor, as well as the research she has done to show just how trauma plays a profound part in the development both emotionally and physically. If you haven’t heard that episode already, I encourage you to check out here or on your favorite podcasting app.

We had originally intended to dive into more areas, beyond relationships alone, during this episode but as often happens, there is so much to cover that we thought it best to focus our time on this important part of survivor life. While relationships can be difficult to understand and navigate for anyone, the unique struggles that childhood trauma brings into the equation, add a dimension that not everyone can understand.

Vennie Kocsis is an author, poet, artist, and survivor of Sam Fife’s Move of God cult.  My creativity is the therapy by which I have survived the memories of abuse I suffered in my childhood. There are many caves where memories hideout, and I intend to travel them all in this lifetime. I understand the journey through trauma recovery, and I am here to share it with you.

I am a highly-sensitive, embodied Empath and integrated DID carrier.  I productively live with the aftermath left over from extreme child abuse. I  understand the journey through recovering from the shattering of religious and sexual abuse recovery.  I know the work it takes in returning to our original, authentic mind and inner child.  It CAN happen for you.  It WILL happen for you.  You can integrate the dissected pieces of yourself.  You can heal.  You can tell your story from a place of truth and vulnerability, rejecting critics and owning your own strength. I believe you.  I support you.  I am cheering you on! 

During this episode of the podcast, Vennie and I discuss some of the struggles for survivors and relationships:

  • The importance that “no means no” regardless of the tone of voice you use to verbalize it.
    • Understanding the fear aspect, and how “the way we say no” to someone, can be based on your past experiences of sexual abuse.
    • How dissociation can take over when you are in a romantic situation with someone, even if they are completely safe?
  • Understanding why survivors tend to try and justify the actions of others because of the grooming that affected our self-worth.
  • Healthy boundaries: not only the importance of having them in the dating and relationship world, but also the struggles of trying to find a way to implement and enforce them.
  • Being in a healthy relationship that ends, and the challenge of not going down the road of self-shame and self-blame for the reasons it ended.
  • Can a little bit of hypervigilance be healthy in the dating world?
  • Even in a seemingly safe social situation, triggers can arise that make us feel unsafe, and why it’s okay to remove yourself and not feel bad about it.
  • The trial and error that is part of dating and relationships for everyone, but especially for trauma survivors and knowing that even if you do something that you regret, it’s not the end of the world and you can learn from it and move on without self-shame.

This is such an important topic, and we hope you’ll share this episode with someone who might benefit from it. After all, everyone can use alittle validation and encouragement in this area, right?

Be sure and follow Vennie on VennieKocsis.com and TwitterPinterest, and Facebook.

-Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP

 

 

The Physiology of Childhood Trauma, how Abuse Affects our Mental and Physical Health, with Vennie Kocsis – Ep. 129

My returning guest for this episode is my good friend, fellow survivor, and advocate for survivors of childhood trauma, Vennie Kocsis.

I first connected with Vennie during the early stages of reaching out for support online from the survivor community. I still remember like it was yesterday, she had responded to an article I wrote on Surviving My Past and we began chatting and keeping in touch over the years. She’s joined me for 2 previous episodes which have morphed into an ongoing series where we discuss how childhood trauma manifests itself in adulthood and the effects it has on our bodies both at a young age and as we grow into adulthood.

Vennie Kocsis is an author, poet, artist, and survivor of Sam Fife’s Move of God cult.  My creativity is the therapy by which I have survived the memories of abuse I suffered in my childhood. There are many caves where memories hideout, and I intend to travel them all in this lifetime. I understand the journey through trauma recovery, and I am here to share it with you.

I am a highly-sensitive, embodied Empath and integrated DID carrier.  I productively live with the aftermath left over from extreme child abuse. I  understand the journey through recovering from the shattering of religious and sexual abuse recovery.  I know the work it takes in returning to our original, authentic mind and inner child.  It CAN happen for you.  It WILL happen for you.  You can integrate the dissected pieces of yourself.  You can heal.  You can tell your story from a place of truth and vulnerability, rejecting critics and owning your own strength. I believe you.  I support you.  I am cheering you on! 

During this episode, we are talking about the Physiology of Childhood Trauma, and how sexual abuse affects not only our mental health but also our physical health. These effects can carry over into adulthood and cause not only the physical struggles of chronic illness and pain but the deep wounds created by the trauma create emotional challenges that affect virtually every aspect of our life.

Vennie has done a great deal of research on this topic and shares some of that knowledge during our chat, as well as her own personal experiences of the abuse she suffered and the ways she continues to heal herself.

  • We also cover some of the misconceptions of childhood sexual abuse, and how it’s not always violent in nature.
  • The connection between the biological DNA change of the body’s bacterial defenses when a child begins to eat the same solid foods as the family AND the nervous system at the end of the spinal cord which runs into the brain.
  • The damage to the physiology of a child when they are so young and how this can lead to misinterpretations of their body as they get older.

Vennie and I share this candid discussion because it’s the things that not everyone wants to talk about. These are some of the effects of childhood trauma that not only she herself has experienced, but so many others as well, and that’s why we are doing this series. To shed light on how being a survivor of childhood trauma affects you as an adult, but also to share the hope in healing and the important research that’s being down by leading experts across the globe to better understand not only how is affected but also how we can heal.

Be sure and follow Vennie on VennieKocsis.com and Twitter, Pinterest, and Facebook.

Look for more of our chat and we continue this discussion during part II coming up on March 28, 2019!

Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP

 

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

Preventing Burnout in Trauma Recovery – Ep. 128

Raise your hand if you’ve heard this before, “pace yourself so you don’t burnout”. Or how about, “take your time, what’s the rush?”

I’m pretty certain I’m not the only one who is literally sitting here in my chair with my hand raised right now. That kind of advice is timeless and applies virtually any aspect of your personal or professional life. Sure there are times when you are up against a deadline and need to work more quickly, but in many cases, deadline or not, finding ways to pace ourselves and work an issue more efficiently is usually to our benefit in the long run.

Recovering from childhood sexual abuse, narcissistic above, emotional neglect, bullying, or any type of childhood trauma is not something you can rush through. It’s a long process, full of ups and downs, struggles and triumphs, and virtually every emotion you can imagine.

One of the things I struggled with during intense times of healing was the concern of doing too much, too fast, and overextending myself without doing proper self-care. I was all in on my healing, which is not a bad thing at all, but at the same time, I often neglected the signs that I was approaching burn out or at the very least the signs that I just needed to ease off the throttle a bit.

The more I healed, the more I learned, and the more I wanted to keep going. That’s not to say there weren’t times when I just wanted to quit, because believe me those were quite plentiful as well. Still though, I was inspired and driven to learn about trauma recovery and how it affected me and what I could do to help myself. My therapist warned on more than a few occasions to take breaks and not “live, eat, and breath” this stuff so much. Hindsight is 20-20, and if only I knew then what I know now…

This episode is a look back at a previous podcast episode, #27,  released back in 2017, and is one where I’m reflecting on this very topic of burnout in trauma recovery.

It’s a good reminder for myself, and perhaps something to consider for you too, that the risk of burnout in healing from childhood trauma, or any type of trauma, is real but there are ways to help ourselves avoid this while still moving forward. After wall, we don’t want to quit and undo all the hard work that we’ve put in.

With my co-host, Joanne Cipressi doing some traveling right now, this was a great time to launch this little project of re-releasing some previous episodes. Many of these older episodes are during the early stages of the podcast, and consist of me just sitting down and talking through my survivor journey.

I hope you’ll enjoy this look back at my thoughts on how I dealt with this, by working through it in my head and with my therapist at the time. And remember, there is no time table in healing except the one you place on yourself. Give yourself the opportunity to heal at a safe pace and embrace the process, because the destination of healing truly is the journey itself.

If you’d like to be a guest for an upcoming episode of the podcast, we’d love to hear from you.

-Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP

 

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

Solace in Chaos, how a Survivor of Childhood Trauma found his Peace and his Passion – Ep. 127

spencer gorman-prow - podcast on beyond your pastFinding your peace, your happy place, that particular thing that you absolutely enjoy and you are as comfortable as you can possibly be, that’s a special thing.  It’s cool enough when you discover what that means for you if you’re not a survivor of childhood trauma, but those of us who are survivors, discovering that zone is not something that comes easily but man when you find it, it’s amazing.

The events of the past seem hell-bent on doing everything they can to keep you from experiencing personal fulfillment and joy, which is one of the big reasons why it’s so special when you do discover what that means for you. Plus, it can literally be anything at all, which means that you as a person can feel free to embrace whatever makes you the most inspired and just throw yourself into it 100%.

Our guest on this episode of the podcast discovered that his place of peace, of inspiration, of solace, was in the kitchen working as a chef. Spencer Gorman-Prow is the author of Solace in Chaos, a Chef’s Memoir, which can be purchased on Amazon, both in paperback and in Kindle form.

An Executive Chef’s memoir of how he was able to overcome seemingly insurmountable odds of child sexual abuse and tragedy and forgive himself in order to achieve success. Chef Spencer relates his journey to health, happiness, and healing – all found within the chaotic nature of the professional kitchen. Prepare to be inspired and perhaps even find your own coping strategies within the context of your professional passion.

Spencer reached out to us to continue his journey of inspiring others by coming on the podcast to talk more about his story, including:

  • How the childhood sexual abuse he experienced changed his life, and when he was able to begin working those memories as an adult.
    • The lack of support available to him and how he navigated most of his healing journey alone until he met his wonderful wife.
  • Why he initially turned to alcohol as a coping strategy and a way to numb the pain of those memories.
  • Working through the trust issues, relationship struggles, as well as the self-blame that he internalized as a way to make sense of what happened.
  • How he began to find peace in the kitchen, and what cooking offered him as a place of peace amidst so much pressure.
  • How journaling helped paved the way for Solace in Chaos to become a reality.
  • The challenges of speaking out as a male survivor, and the importance of sharing your truth to not only aid in your own journey but also to help inspire others.

Be sure and check out Solace in Chaos, a Chef’s Memoir, on Amazon. A resource that will surely inspire you to speak your truth, explore your passion, and not be ashamed of who you are and what you went through.

You can also follow Spencer on Twitter: @ChefSpencer68

Please consider sharing this episode with someone who might benefit from hearing Spencer’s message, and don’t forget to subscribe to Beyond Your Past on your favorite podcasting app.

Thank you as always to our incredible sponsors, iNLP Center – offering world-class NLP & Life Coach Training to People in over 70 Countries…and Daily Recovery Support – Safe, Interactive, Group Calls for Survivors of Complex Trauma, 7 Days a Week. 

Your Hosts,

Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP & Joanne Cipressi, CHt, CNLP

 

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.