Narcissistic Abuse Survivor

“Feel to Heal”, Finding Balance in Healing and Life through Integrative Wellness, with Delisa Richardson

‘Life is all about balance”, something most of us have probably heard many times growing up and even more so today. Trying to balance all of the responsibilities that daily life throws at us, professionally, personally, relationally, spiritually, is tough, to say the least. For those that do that have kind of balance now, you have my utmost respect, and hopefully, you’re going to write a book one day about how you do it.

For the rest of us, that balance can be elusive, something that we strive for and sometimes feel like we have a grasp of, while the rest of the time it’s all we can do to figure out 1 or 2 at time, let alone trying to put all 4 together in some type of cohesive union of peace.

Our guest today on the podcast, Delisa Richardson, has dedicated her life to finding the balance of living with chronic illness, recovery from being a survivor, being a mom and wife, and working with clients in her coaching business. As she outlines in her bio:

Delisa Richardson Wellness focuses on empowering women to break the chains of trauma and abuse. I work with you to develop Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual balance & wholeness. This will enable you to thrive and live your BEST life! My goal as a certified Integrative Wellness & Life Coach, NLP, EFT practitioner, and Hypnotherapist, is to help break the chains of trauma, end destructive relationships, help you to learn to love yourself not only survive but THRIVE! You will learn how to fully and confidently step into your life purpose.

Delisa is also a fitness profession of 21 years, and living with chronic illness (inflammatory bowel disease), she specializes in helping those with chronic pain and diseases develop a plan of movement and exercise that works for them. 

During our chat, Delisa and I talk about some of her survivor story, which started around the 9 and lasted until she was 13. She shares how and why she kept her abuse a secret and how it affected her all throughout her teenage years and into early adulthood, especially in the area of relationships.

  • You’ll learn the circumstances that transpired which lead her to seek the help of a therapist, what it was like to verbalize for the first time, out loud, that she was a survivor of abuse.
  • Delisa talks about the struggles of being in abusive relationships, both physically and verbally, as a result of childhood trauma, and how the events of her past affected her ability to seek out healthy relationships and enforce boundaries.
  • We discuss the importance of releasing the shame and guilt that comes with being a survivor of childhood trauma, and how recording her own voice, by listening to how she talked to herself; internalizing all of the shame and blame, helped her move forward and break that cycle.
  • Her life with inflammatory bowel disease, and how living with chronic pain and illness can be traced back to the childhood trauma she experienced.
  • We discuss how healing from trauma is a life long battle and the hope that comes from putting in the hard work of healing so you can live the life you want and be the person you want to be.
  • Releasing yourself from the need to try and control the people around you or the events in your life, and how the process of healing helps you release that need and realize that you actually have very little control over most of your life.

You can find Delisa on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter just search for “Delisa Richardson Wellness”

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That’s it…Super Easy and it would mean the world to us.

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All conversation and information exchanged during participation on Beyond Your Past Radio and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on the podcast or posted on the above-mentioned website are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

Podcast – Ep. 94 – Recognizing & Understanding Toxic Relationships, and Narcissistic Abuse, with Kim Saeed.

So how do you recognize you are in an abusive relationship? For that matter, what is a toxic person, and how can you see the signs of an unhealthy relationship? Why do you keep justifying the behavior of our spouse or partner when they are treating you in a way that is not loving and encouraging?

Those questions alone can cause an incredible amount of unrest in your mind, and if you are currently in or were previously in a toxic relationship, you can likely relate . You know something is wrong, you know you don’t feel loved, understood, respected, and appreciated. At first everything was wonderful and then overtime, things began to change. You think it’s you, and wonder what you did wrong and how you can fix it. You justify his or her reactions and think that in time it will get better, but unfortunately so often that is not the case.

My guest on the podcast today, Kim Saeed, shares her expertise in the field of healing from toxic relationships and understanding narcissistic abuse.

Kim is an internationally respected self-help author and educator specializing in recovery and rebuilding after toxic relationships. She is the founder of kimsaeed.com, a life transformation site that teaches people to flourish after narcissistic abuse. She is the author of the Kindle bestseller, How to Do No Contact Like a Boss! and is currently writing an upcoming book, The Way of the Warrior, for Balboa Press, a division of Hay House.

I truly believe that devastating situations can be catalysts for transformation if we let them.  We don’t have to live lives of conformity or stay in abusive relationships.  We don’t have to be victims of generational dysfunction or do things the way our parents and grandparents did them.  We don’t have to hang onto dead dreams because we’ve been told we should.   All of us – including you – have the power of choice.

Her resources reach 9 million people and her YouTube channel is filled with incredible content about every aspect of understanding and healing from narcissistic abuse. If you don’t subscribe to her channel already, you’re missing out on so much important information, presented in a way that will fill you with an empowering mindset to take back control of your life and relationships.

Kim Saeed and I discuss the following topics during our chat on the podcast:

  • Some of her personal story and what inspired her to start advocating for narcissistic abuse awareness and recovery.
  • How to recognize you’re in an abusive relationship.
  • The most important things to remember for someone who has recently left a dysfunctional relationship.
  • How long-term narcissistic abuse can cause brain damage, and ways that we can begin to heal that damage.
  • Advice for those who are still in a toxic relationship, and what if it involves children and shared financial responsibilities.
  • The best way to go “no contact” with a toxic person.  Break it off slowly or cold turkey?

My chat with Kim was an amazing experience. I was already a big fan of her work and getting the opportunity to learn more from her was something that I know I benefited greatly from and I’m sure you will too. If you know someone who is currently struggling with any of the situations we talk about, please consider sharing this with them.

It’s never too late to start taking control of our life back, and protecting ourselves from further pain and damage at the hands of a narcissistic spouse, family member, friend, or boss.

Be sure and follow Kim Saeed on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and subscribe to her YouTube channel.

-Matt Pappas, CLC, MPNLP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

Podcast – Ep. 79 – Julie Coons, the Challenges and Triumphs of Sharing Your Story as an Author

I’m so honored to welcome back returning guest, Julie Coons, to this episode of the Beyond Your Past Podcast. Julie first joined me back in October 2017, to discuss her upcoming book at the time, This Does Not Leave This House. That was an incredible show, and the first time that I was introduced to Julie, and learned more about her amazing and heart wrenching story of being a survivor.

Julie tells us that the inspiration for the title of her book, “This does not leave this house”, comes from being raised in a family where she was told regularly by her father, “what goes on in this house, stays in this house, it was their family secret and nobody’s business but theirs.”

As outlined on JulieCoons.com –

Raised by an abusive, narcissistic mother (who once tried to trick her into having an abortion), Julie Coons was also raped in college by a stranger and later married an abusive man who threatened to kill her if she ever tried to leave. Suffering from physical and mental torment resulting in very low self-esteem, Julie often felt so completely alone during the many struggles of her life that she tried to take her own life.

This book is her true story—telling all the secrets she was never allowed to tell to encourage and motivate others to heal their own lives and break the cycle of abuse. Her story shows that there is hope and life after abuse. Now that the secrets are finally out, Julie has found freedom.

So can you.

This Does Not Leave This House is a raw, poignant, and secret-revealing memoir written to lead a movement to break the silence of abuse and finally end its vicious cycle. With strength and resiliency, Coons provides a voice for the silent abused, letting them know they’re not alone. Justice and hope can prevail. The abused can become victorious. Read the heartbreaking true story of her journey to triumph above overwhelming obstacles.

I wanted to bring her back to see how things have been going since the release of her book, and discuss more of how her life has changed, the struggles she’s faced and the trials that she’s overcome and used as a learning experience throughout the process. As you listen to our chat, we’ll discuss many topics, including:

  • Expecting backlash from her family, and what it was like to not get any at all.
  • The response of her friends who offered her incredible support and validation.
  • The struggles of being an author and a survivor of childhood trauma, including the memories that resurface while writing.
  • How writing a book is not necessarily as cathartic as you might think at the time, and in fact can be retraumatizing as old memories resurface and new ones come to light.
  • Dealing with reviews and comments, both positive and negative, and the struggles of not letting those define her or invalidate her story.
  • Updates on the situation with her mother and where she is now with those challenges.
  • Her new work of fiction, titled “Why She Lied”, is in the works, and Julie shares how that book is coming along and why she’s writing it.

All this and much more on this episode of the podcast is waiting for you, so grab those headphones or plug us into your car and join me as I chat with Julie.

I encourage you to check out JulieCoons.com for more information on her story, a link to buy the book on Amazon, and to sign up for her newsletter so you can stay in the know as she progresses on her new book.  Follow her on Twitter @JulieCoons1

Special Thanks to my Amazing Sponsors iNLPCenter.org and Daily Recovery SupportPlease consider checking them out and exploring how you might benefit from these two incredible resources. 

Oh, and don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review on your favorite podcasting app…that would be so awesome and I’d sure appreciate it!

If you’d like to be a guest on an upcoming podcast, just contact me anytime right here!

-Matthew Pappas, CLC, CPNLP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All conversation and information exchanged on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.