There’s an old saying, “sometimes you can’t see the forest through the trees”, An expression used of someone who is too involved in the details of a problem to look at the situation as a whole.* Now, what does this have to do is healing from an emotionally abusive relationship?
One of the biggest struggles that an emotionally abusive relationship brings, is that more often than not you don’t realize you’re in it until it’s over. No matter what others may see on the outside, we are too busy being emotionally invested, and subsequently having that used against us, to see what’s really going on. The red flags are there but we don’t acknowledge them. The toll on our minds and bodies is painfully evident, yet we choose to justify it or simply ignore it.
When the relationship does end, and you have the ability to see what really happened, it’s only then through that perspective that we see the true damage that was done and how much we were manipulated. The signs are all crystal clear now, those red flags stick out like a sore thumb, and wonder just how in the world we missed everything that was right in front of our faces.
Then comes the self-shaming; beating ourselves up emotionally for all we put ourself through, and what we put others through. We doubt our ability to make good decisions on our own behalf and may end up reeling from those experiences for a long time, missing out so much in life because we can’t bear the thought of anything bad like that ever happening again.
So what can we do? How can we identify a relationship that is filled with emotional abuse? Is there a way to see it and get out before more damage is done and heal more compassionately and efficiently once it’s over? What can we do to help ourselves in the future, to enforce healthy boundaries and not let someone take over our very existence?
Liz Goddard returns on this episode of the podcast to dive deeper into healing from an emotionally abusive relationship. Elizabeth is an Author, Spiritual Life Coach, Soul Transformation Therapist, Soul Plan Reader, and Reiki Master Teacher; training with the Holistic Healing College in London. She works with women to help them understand why they attract abusive relationships and helps them heal the ORIGINAL wound. She believes that by healing the original wound you can feel whole, something you may never have experienced and allow you to take charge of your life.
Elizabeth has supported women who hadn’t realized they have been Emotionally Abused but had been stuck in their lives not able to move forward and believing everything was their fault. She believes we take on our behaviors and beliefs growing up, and that some of these aren’t actually our own they have been handed down with each generation.
During our chat, Liz shares about her upcoming new book, “The A to Z of Emotional Abuse”, and how the key to healing lies in understanding. In her new book, she takes the approach of education and learning about what emotional abuse is, in order to not only identify it but also to heal.
- How cognitive dissonance and gaslighting can go hand in hand in an abusive relationship, and consequently literally damage our brain from the emotional trauma.
- Understanding who exactly is to blame for the emotional abuse, and working through the urge to self-shame.
- What role did you play in the relationship, and what you can you learn from it without interpreting the events in a way that causes you to take on all of the blame?
- What is a manufactured soulmate and how can that mindset keep us stuck in the emotionally abusive relationship? For that matter, the importance of understanding that the toxic relationship itself is a manufactured relationship in the first place?
- How to recognize if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship; the key to understanding what’s happening.
- Idealization and Devaluation phases of a relationship, and how the toxic partner will use your ideals against you to manipulate you.
Learn more about Elizabeth Goddard, her ROAR program to Help Heal from Emotional Abuse, her Free Meditations available, her upcoming book, and more, over on her website ReviveYourSoul.co.uk
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All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.
*Source – https://www.dictionary.com/browse/can-t-see-the-forest-for-the-trees