If there’s one thing you realize when you become a parent, it’s that for all of resources available, there is no end-all-be-all rulebook on how to raise children. Sure there are countless books and resources available, each offering their take on best practices to employ, but as any parent knows, a child can create a scenario that throws a wrench in even the best of strategies.
Add in the struggles of being a survivor of childhood trauma, and the parenting challenges can take on a whole new level. You want to do everything possible to care for your children, keep them safe, spend time with them, and show them unconditional love, but that’s not always easy to do when you are coping with triggers and memories that can be brought on be situations you never see coming and course your children are completely unaware of.
These struggles and so many others can cause a great deal of stress for even the most veteran of parents. My guest on this episode of the podcast, Jeremy Schneider, shares his experience in this area and how it inspired him to “Fatherhood in 40-minute Snapshots”.
Jeremy G. Schneider is a marriage and family therapist whose career spans more than 15 years of working with individuals and families, focusing on parenting, relationships and mental health. For his work, he has been a featured in The New York Times, TODAY, and CNN and has been a speaker on panels in New York, Philadelphia, Dallas, and Liverpool, England. Jeremy lives and works in New York City with his wife, Gem, and his son and daughter, Lucas and Dorit.
During our chat on the podcast, Jeremy and I dive into some aspects of parenting as a survivor of childhood trauma:
- At 9 years old, he realized that not only did he have things he needed to work on in his own life due to a traumatic childhood, but that he wanted to be a therapist when he grew up.
- During grad school he came to a greater understanding of both himself and his family, and that if he was going to help others he also had to learn how to help himself.
- One of the most challenging things about coming to terms with a traumatic childhood is not only, “this is what happened to us and we had to deal with those events as a child”, but also now as adults, “we are the ones who have to do the work to heal”.
- How facing your past allows you to be much more free than if you continually run from it.
- How the trauma he experienced as a child still causes him to struggle at times today, but even with that ongoing struggle the realization that life is so much better now than ever before because he continues to put in the hard work of healing.
- Understanding that just because you will struggle as an adult, doesn’t mean that we should just not even bother to try to heal.
- He shares about his inspiration for writing “Fatherhood in 40-minute Snapshots” and how the experience of writing has changed him, and his perspective on life and parenting.
My chat with Jeremy Schneider was such a great experience and I’m honored to have the opportunity to share some of his story with you here on the podcast. I hope you’ll consider checking out his current book, as well as his memoir due out in mid 2019.
-Matthew Pappas, CLC, MPNLP
All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on BeyondYourPast.com, and BeyondYourPastRadio.com is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.