The “man card”, the thing that supposedly defines what a man is, or should be in the eyes of his peers. It’s been used in relation to everything from sports, to politics, to who’s makes the best burgers. It’s something that’s been joked about since the beginning of time I suppose.
“Dude, you just lost your man card”….”So when did your wife take your man card again?” I’m sure you’ve heard these and countless others before, and they can definitely be in good fun among friends. To that, did you know that there is actual an official (so to speak) definition of a man card?
A Man Card is required proof of manhood in order to become a respected member of the male community. It can and will be temporarily revoked if privileges as a Man are abused.*
So what does all this “card talk” have to do with Beyond Your Past? To that point, if you’re a woman and you’re wondering “what could this have to do with me?” Well, I’m glad you asked…
I recently had the honor of talking with friend, fellow survivor, advocate, artist, and author, Brian Cardoza, and we decided to record a podcast together. I’m stoked to share this with you, because this show was something that inspired me and also validated me as a survivor, in some incredible ways. Since we’re being real here, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been at your healing journey from trauma, more validation is always a good thing.
In case you aren’t familiar with Brian, he’s the author of , “The Unexpected Victim”, his story of recovery from repeated childhood sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. You can find his book on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Brian’s message is one of responsibility and hope. As a survivor, he works diligently raising awareness and money to fight against sexual assault and physical abuse. He believes in the potential to change your circumstances by changing your thinking. His motto of, “Don’t let this moment dictate the next moment” is shared by the many that he inspires, and I’m definitely included in that group.
We covered so much during our time together, but I wanted to highlight a few key topics to get you ready for our conversation…
One of which was that “man card”, because when I mentioned it during our chat, he brought up such an insightful way to look it and how we need to redefine it’s meaning. You’ll notice I keep putting it in quotes, because I never put much stock in that man card stuff in the first place”.
Anyway…so what would it look like we could give a card to everyone who’s a survivor of abuse? To any man who steps up and shares his story, and refuses to be ashamed? To a guy who saves someone from being abused, or offers refuge to a victim when they have nothing left or nowhere to go? To a boy who speaks up and tells someone what’s going on in his home because he isn’t safe, or tells someone because his friend is living in an abusive home?
Now that my friends, is a real Man Card right there! As Brian also mentions, “I can still be a man and not have machismo, I can still be a man and be sympathetic. ” We get into that topic more in depth, so you’ll want to check out the podcast for sure!
Check out the rest of the post on BeyondYourPast.com
Also Be sure and check out BrianCardoza.com for all the information on his story, the book, his art, and more!
-Matt Pappas, CLC
If you’d like more information on working with a certified life coach, or if you have questions about how working with a life coach might be right for you… go for it and schedule your free intro session! Always remember, You Are Worth It, and there is hope for moving forward from what holds you back.