Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. This relates to the law of averages, which is the theory that the result of any given situation will be the average of all outcomes. When it comes to relationships, we are greatly influenced — whether we like it or not — by those closest to us. It affects our way of thinking, our self-esteem, and our decisions. Of course, everyone is their own person, but research has shown that we’re more affected by our environment than we think.*

Not only in relationships, but that train of thought can apply to virtually any aspect of your personal or professional life. So the challenge then becomes, not only keeping your individuality (which is a podcast for another time) but also if you are influenced by others to any degree, being selective about the people you hang out with becomes paramount.

That is the topic of this Mobile Musing episode, where I reflect back to our chat with Tiffany Toombs, on the power of reframing your limiting beliefs to change your life. During that chat, we talk not only about reframing, and what that is, but also about the importance of surrounding yourself with the right people. We discuss the importance of enforcing healthy boundaries and being selective about those who are not only in your inner circle but also in acquaintances and other relationship levels.

You may not be able to choose your colleagues, for example, but you can choose how much you own and internalize their comments and how much you allow them to influence your mindsets. If they are a negative influence, if they don’t help you feel encouraged and empowered, then perhaps limiting exposure to them outside of the necessary meetings and such, may be something to consider.

The same goes with friends, of all levels:

  • Do the people you hang out with make you feel good about yourself?
  • Do they help encourage you in a genuine way? Are their comments uplifting?
  • Are they there to listen and validate your struggles, without having to “fix” you or always give advice?
  • Do you truly feel better about yourself when you’re in their company?

These types of questions are at the heart of ensuring that you not only feel inspired and encouraged but safe and supported. Of course, not everyone can live up those standards, and not everyone has the ability to relate to every aspect of your life, so it’s important to have a diverse group that can be there to meet specific needs at any given time. And, in turn, you can be the very best support person for those in your life.


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All conversation and information exchanged during participation on the Beyond Your Past Podcast, on, and is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing on these podcasts or posted on the above-mentioned websites are supplements for or supersedes the relationship and direction of your medical or mental health providers.

*Source: Business Insider

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